Biggest mistakes older men make on dating apps
If you are a man of a certain age on a dating app, it is likely not to be your most natural environment. Unlike those of us who came of age in the 2010s and spent the vast majority of our love lives sweeping for love, lust, or something in between, you probably remember a time where people went out without WiFi. Maybe you were used to dating people you met at work or through friends, or maybe you were just hanging out with strangers on the street – I’m honestly not really sure what to do with it. what dating looked like before smartphones, but from what I’ve gathered from my regular diet Sex and the city reruns, bumping into your soul mate in the middle of the street seems like something that happened quite regularly in the 90s and early 2000s.
Either way, times have changed, and while dating apps aren’t exactly in your comfort zone, I commend you for being on them. That said, as a native of a non-dating app, it’s possible that you’ve made a misstep or two along the way. Don’t worry, young men have their own unique dating faux pas, while dating app users of all genders and ages are prone to a lot of bad habits which have simply become an inevitable part of the culture of dating apps.
In fact, as an older guy who may have missed the general start of the online dating era, you are actually in a pretty good place. Not only are you not to blame for the The mess made by the millennia It’s the culture of dating apps today, but you can’t reasonably be expected to know all the rules. As someone who came of age when dating apps were peaking in the mid-2010s, I flatter myself on someone who not only memorized the rules, but even made a few of them – one. Having spent the last few years of my online dating career mostly sweeping into men in their forties, fifties and older, I like to think that I have a bit of wisdom to share with older men, men and women. DILF and the Silver Foxes of the Online Dating Pool. For your edification, here are: the most common mistakes I see in older men on dating apps.
Lie about your age
As a woman living in a highly ageist and misogynistic society – one who is often ageist in a specifically misogynistic way – I can certainly understand the impulse to lie about your age. But as a man, you’re on the side that takes advantage of all this sexist ageism. Some might say check your privilege, I’m saying you might as well use it. Granted, men are not immune to ageism forever – it ends up affecting us all, unless of course you are running for President of the United States of America, in which case be on the verge of death seems to be a labor requirement. But suffice it to say that society treats middle-aged men much better than middle-aged women, especially when it comes to assessing the sexual value of the market. In fact, many might consider you, a middle-aged man, to be in your prime.
All that to say that there is no need to lie about your age on a dating app. Beyond society’s more lenient attitudes towards male aging, there is another more logistical reason why you never need to lie about your age on a dating app: age filters, which means that anyone who sees your profile sees your profile specifically because they are interested in men your age. While I’ve noticed that men around certain milestone ages – say 40, 50, 60 – tend to age a year or two so they don’t get cut off by women drawing a line at a certain decade, here’s the thing: a woman who doesn’t want to date a man over a certain age certainly doesn’t want to date a man over a certain age who is also a liar. I promise you there are plenty of women on the internet who do want to date someone your age, then focus on her.
Even if you’re one of the few men in the world who can take a decent selfie, it’s still not your best bet. Selfies make it look like you’re a weird loner who doesn’t know anyone in the world ready to take a simple photo of them. That may be true – which is good, I sympathize with the fate of the strange loner. But even if it does, just hire a photographer to take a few photos. With weddings rare these days, most photographers could use the extra work, and maybe you’ll even get a new LinkedIn portrait of the deal.
Using strange animal names
I’m sure various men of all ages are probably guilty of this one, but I’ve noticed that older men, in particular, are inclined to open up with: “Hey gorgeous”, “Hey gorgeous” or, even worse, “Hey baby.” It might sound flattering to you, but to us it sounds scary. You don’t know me, I don’t know you, it’s far too early for you to speak affectionate terms to me. While I commend you for venturing – even slightly – beyond a simple “Hey,” this particular form of flattery probably doesn’t get you as far as you might think. For many women, in fact, this is probably an immediate red flag.
Not having enough photos
If you’re an older man, especially if you’re not on Instagram, chances are you don’t have a ton of photos of yourself available to you. Honestly, it’s probably healthy. While members of future generations are doomed to walk around with iPhones full of photographic evidence of ourselves in various states of humiliation constantly at hand, most of the photographic evidence of your life is probably hidden in photo albums. and boxes of undeveloped film, to be revisited when and if you want.
While this is probably good for your mental well-being, it isn’t necessarily ideal when trying to create a dating app profile. Your profile must have at least three photos. Less than that is just not enough for potential matches to make an informed decision on what you actually look like, and it will likely earn you an immediate left blow from a large chunk of your potential matches. In addition, having too few photos is also a red flag for cat fishing. At least four to six photos, showing you from different angles and in different contexts, is ideal. And remember, keep selfies to a minimum.
Like it or not, astrology is on the scene right now, especially among the younger generations. Many dating apps even allow users to filter by star sign. You don’t have to believe it or even like it, but openly denigrating astrology and those who like it in your profile or in conversation with your pen pals is probably not doing you a favor. Negativity, in general, tends not to be a winning strategy on dating apps, and negativity towards astrology, in particular, can in fact wear misogynistic undertones it can be a red flag for potential matches. You don’t have to pretend you’re into astrology or include your sign in your bio, but be blatantly negative about it, especially if you’re a man interested in dating younger women, is probably only to your detriment.
Emojis tend to come in and go out of style – or grab additional, often irreverent meanings – at a pace that you, frankly, are probably unable to keep up. Even millennials, the generation responsible for bringing emojis to the lexicon, have recently encountered the harsh truth that their beloved cry-laugh emoji is no longer in fashion.
Through no fault of your own, most older men have no idea how to use emojis, and there are some that you seem to gravitate towards that stick out like a sore, aging thumb.
Even if you might think sprinkling emojis in your bio or chats on your dating app makes you look younger or more accessible, chances are it will only make you look older. One way not to go wrong? No emojis at all, which is actually something I would suggest to anyone of all ages and genders.
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