Dear Abby: Teenage girl is disgusted that her father, 50, is dating a 19-year-old
DEAR ABBY: I’m really uncomfortable about my dad’s new relationship. He’s 50 and is dating a 19-year-old girl, only two years older than me. She went to my high school.
I think their age difference is disgusting. He knows how I feel about it, and he doesn’t care. We fought and I told him that I would not talk to him again. I’d rather live with my mom full time than spend half of my time with him.
I haven’t seen or spoken to him for over a month, and I’m hurt that he chose his girlfriend over me. My dad and I were never very close, but we had a decent relationship. I’ve watched it.
Without him in my life, I feel like something is missing. I’ve tried to get over what I’m feeling and force myself to come to terms with the situation no matter how uncomfortable it makes me, but I just can’t do it! I lost respect for him. I have the impression that he is a pervert.
How can I take his parenting advice seriously or listen when he tries to discipline me when he is dating someone my age? I wonder if he treats his girlfriend like his daughter and also tries to parent her, which is just scary. What can I do to make myself feel better? – HATE DADDY’S TEEN ROMANCE
DEAR HAIS: I would like to know what the parents of this girl think of this romantic marriage. Your father may be flattered that someone so young has a love interest in him. Being with her can make him forget he’s 31 years older – past middle age – and think he’s a cool young guy again.
When there is such a big difference in age, the older person is usually the one to decide, and the balance of power in the relationship is uneven. If your dad is taking care of her, maybe it’s because she needs a “daddy” and that makes him feel important.
You will start to feel better as soon as you accept that you cannot control what your father is doing and realize that his relationship with your contemporary might not last. In the meantime, focus on your studies.
DEAR ABBY: The world seems bleak for many of us who are in quarantine. I ordered gallons of ice cream from a local ice cream company, picked them up from the store with coolers and ice packs in my car, and delivered them to the front doors of several friends. As I was leaving I called and told them to check their porch. They were all surprised and delighted to have a little pick-me-up for their day.
Last night, one of these friends put down some cinnamon buns. She knocked and left. She wanted them to be with us for breakfast today. Neither of these items were big and expensive, but they did bring a smile when there isn’t much to smile about these days. – PAY AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE IN THE SOUTH
DEAR PAY: Comfort foods come in many forms: ice cream, baked goods of all kinds, chocolate. And it’s all the more tasty when shared among friends as you described it. All of these quick fixes work, at least for a little while. I am now trying to repent of my steamy relationship with praline and cream ice cream.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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